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Will I Ever Be Good Enough? Finding Your Worth in Christ

It’s exhausting, constantly striving for more but never feeling good enough. You can stop striving. You are more than enough because your worth is in Christ alone. 

I have a first date tonight (eek!). So, of course, my mind is full of questions like, What do I wear? Do I attempt to wear makeup even though I never wear it normally? Is it going to be awkward? Those awkward silences are just the worst and I am terrible at filling them! Will it be weird if I take a picture of my food (because I always take pictures of my food)? Is he going to have a weird voice? Don’t laugh – that actually happened to me once!

And this is about the time when my insecurities come knocking, trying to fill my mind with doubt and hesitation. There are so many girls out there that are so much prettier than me. What if I get food stuck in my teeth? Will he think I’m successful enough? 

What if I’m not good enough?

It's exhausting, constantly striving for more but never feeling good enough. You can stop striving. You are more than enough because your worth is in Christ alone.

When is “Enough” Enough?

When I was young, I felt like I could earn my worth. I felt like I had worked to achieve some higher status when I got good grades, made the tennis team, got a role in the school play, and made it into honor’s choir.

But enough was never enough.

When I got good grades, I still couldn’t feel good about myself because I wasn’t skinny enough. When I made the tennis team, I still couldn’t feel good about myself because I wasn’t popular enough.

There was always a reason not to feel strong enough, fast enough, smart enough, experienced enough, talented enough, pretty enough, rich enough, and successful enough.

Who decides what “enough” looks like anyways?

You? Your parents, friends, kids, or spouse?

When Your Best Fails

One of my biggest fears has always been not being enough for people.

When I got married, I invested all of my time, energy, and talents into being the best wife I could possibly be. I wrote love notes on the bathroom mirror, doled out encouragement like it was going out of style, learned how to make all of his favorite foods, and passionately prayed over him and our marriage constantly.

And then, one horrible morning, he said the words, “I haven’t been in love with you for years. You aren’t enough for me.” The one person on earth who knew all of my strengths and all of my flaws had decided that the very best I had to offer didn’t make the cut.

And my worst fear was realized – I wasn’t good enough.

I took his words to heart and just crumbled. Now, that is a very crumble-worthy experience, but it crushed me on a deeper level than it ever should have. Somewhere along the way, I had unintentionally given him the power to determine my worth as a person and the results were not pretty.

Who Decides Your Worth?

The answer to this question has changed for me over the years. I don’t know that I have ever consciously chosen to let someone decide my value, but it just kind of…happened. Over and over and over again.

It used to be my parents, teachers, and friends. Heck, many times I let people I didn’t even know make that decision for me! I so desperately wanted to be a cool kid growing up, but, unfortunately, unruly fluffy bangs never came into style (darn).

Grades and popularity are absolutely an accurate measure of your worth as a person, right?

Later, I handed that power over to boyfriends and my ex-husband.

For awhile, I even took it into my own hands. I would decide my value as a person on any given day by the number of checks on my to-do list, the number of Facebook friends I had, my job title, the quality of my cooking, or the amount in my checking account.

Finally, I made the very intentional decision to hand it over to the only One that matters – Jesus.

Finding Your Worth in Christ

This is something that is so much easier said than done.

We live in a culture that cares about performance. You are valuable if you look good on a resume, fit the It's exhausting, constantly striving for more but never feeling good enough. You can stop striving. You are more than enough because your worth is in Christ alone. physical traits that they have decided define beauty, or can do something exceptional that society deems important.

God, on the other hand, looks through all of the outward appearances and looks straight to your heart.

He doesn’t care what your life looks like on paper. He cares about the state of your soul, about your relationship with Him.

I’ve always known that God loves me, but actually receiving that unfailing love into the depths of my heart looks so different than just a cognitive belief.

It is choosing to believe God’s words over any other influences in your life in every single situation you face.

Pushing aside the guilt, condemnation, fear, and discouragement and, instead, hearing His voice speak hope, grace, compassion, and forgiveness into the most difficult times in your life is incredibly powerful.

Every single one of us was made in His image, fearfully and wonderfully, a masterpiece in His eyes. I don’t value myself because of anything I’ve done or accomplished. I value myself because of what He has done in me, from the day He created me in His likeness.

His promises are true, regardless of my weight, my social status, my job title, or my track record of failures.

You are still more than enough just as you are – flaws, imperfections, shortcomings, and all. 

His grace is bigger than your sins.

You are not worthy when you are perfect. You are worthy because He is perfect.

That is what I’m super excited about tonight. My insecurities don’t win that battle anymore. I am really looking forward to getting to know this guy more. And no matter how things go, I will walk away with my head held high, knowing that I am a beloved daughter of the King, the most prestigious title I could ever hope for.

This Post Has 20 Comments
    1. It's so hard to get past everybody else's opinions (especially as the people pleaser that I am!), but His opinion is the only One the really matters!
  1. Becky I love so many things about this post! "Will it be weird if I take a picture of my food?" love this:),and I totally get this one "but, unfortunately, unruly fluffy bangs never came into style (darn)." lol I hear ya! But this is my favorite, "but actually receiving that unfailing love into the depths of my heart looks so different than just a cognitive belief." So very true. Thank you for sharing your heart with us here, so encouraging!
  2. This is heart-wrenching and beautiful at the same time! I love your honesty and vulnerability, and the truths that this speaks! We are only enough when we are in Christ; thank you for sharing that! :)
  3. I hope that your date went well! I need to read this post every day. It's so easy to get down on ourselves and feel like we're never really worth it.
    1. It went very well, Rose! Gosh, you and me both! I left the date with the same questions I wrote about. He was so wonderful and that "Am I good enough?" question just kept creeping back up. I actually re-read my post last night as a reminder to myself!
    1. It's a very real and regular battle for me, too. One that I fight much more intentionally these days because I know God's words are Truth...I just have to remind myself of that many times a day!
  4. I really love this. And I long so very badly to get to that place where I believe this at my very core. But how? I feel like a fraud.
    1. I so understand that struggle, Amber. It's definitely a process and I certainly haven't "arrived." For me, the most important part is filling my thoughts with Scripture, all day, every day. The second I recognize any thoughts, fears, worries, doubts, or insecurities that go against the words that God speaks over me, I try to call them out for what they are (lies) and replace them immediately with His truth before they have the chance to grow and overtake me. My devotional recently was on radical grace and it really challenged me, so I want to share part of it with you. "To discover grace is to discover God's utter devotion to you, his stubborn resolve to give you a cleansing, healing, purging love that lifts the wounded back to their feet...A grace that grants us first the power to receive love and then the power to give it. A grace that challenges us, shapes us, and leads us to a life that is eternally altered. Do you know this grace? Do you trust this grace?" (Max Lucado's, "God is With You Every Day") He loves you so much, Amber. Not in a blanket, "God loves everyone" kind of way, but in a deep, powerful, and intimate way where He knows every thought, weakness, sin, failure, and broken place in your life and still longs to pull you closer. Your performance doesn't get you any closer to His love, grace, and peace, but a heart that is constantly longing for more of Him, running to Him, and choosing to depend on Him and trust His words to be true? That is what will change those beliefs at your very core.

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