I Don’t Like Running…But I Still Choose To Run

I signed up for the 4th of July Freedom Run/Walk 5k again this year. Last year’s Freedom Run was actually the last 5k I’d run and when I got the e-mail a little over a week ago reminding me that this year’s race was coming up, I figured I’d get back into the racing scene again.

It seems like most of the other runners I talk to are diehards. They are the people that legitimately love the act of running and can get lost in the repetition of the pounding of their shoes against the pavement. I, however, am not one of those people. I don’t even like running, because:

#1 – Running is hard. Every bit of it, from the first step to the last requires a tremendous amount of mental and physical stamina. I have to force myself to keep going, from beginning to end. Granted, the more I run, the more I can run. I didn’t used to be able to run half a mile without stopping, but even now that I can, it doesn’t mean that half mile is easy for me. I never “get lost” in my music and forget that I’m running. Every single step is intentional. In this particular race, I dreaded every incline I saw approaching (no matter how slight) and did a mental happy dance when I spotted any declines (no matter how slight). And it gets exponentially harder when you’re using every ounce of your energy to force yourself to take another step and all of a sudden an 80-year-old man darts past you. Not that that happened to me or anything.

#2 – Running hurts. My feet, my knees, and my hips don’t like running. It’s not a piercing, debilitating kind of pain. It’s just a constant ache that makes the entire run uncomfortable. The run itself does not feel good. Ever.

#3 – Running is boring. I’ve tried everything I can think of to keep my mind off of the exercise itself. I’ve listened to music, Podcasts, and audiobooks. I’ve even played my favorite TV shows on the Netflix app on my phone. Unfortunately, nothing can distract me from the fact that I’m running. There is a possibility that running with someone else will slightly alleviate that boredom, but it is yet to be proven.

Now, the thing is, no, I don’t like running…so why the heck do I still run? Well, because:

#1 – Boots loves to run and it’s a fantastic way to exercise us both at the same time. Added bonus – I always run faster with Boots, because he keeps the leash taught when I run him, giving me consistent forward momentum (translation – he basically turns into a sled dog and he does all the work while I just try to keep my legs moving).

#2 – I like to be able to tell people I run. I was overweight growing up, so telling people I run makes me feel like a cool kid. A skinny cool kid, to be more specific.

#3 – I really like earning 5k t-shirts. I love t-shirts in general, but running 3.1 miles is hard and I’m proud to wear the shirt afterward.

#4 – I like being healthy (here’s to you, heart and lungs) and running is a workout that always challenges me (translation – makes me feel like my legs are going to fall off and my lungs are going to explode). An elliptical workout may be easier on my knees and it makes me hot and tired, but it doesn’t push me nearly as much.

#5 – The feeling afterward is fantastic. “Runner’s high” really is a thing. Being flooded with endorphins is lovely (thank you, pituitary gland), but it’s also a big victory in the battle of Lazy Self vs. Healthy Self. I usually spend quite a bit of time arguing with myself just to lace up my running shoes and get out the door, so when Healthy Self wins, it’s a big deal (Lazy Self always has a long and extremely convincing list arguments to stay home in bed).

#6 – It gets me outside. I see more sunrises and sunsets, I breathe more fresh air, I explore my neighborhood, and I see more of my neighbors. Now, to this day, I’ve never actually met a neighbor out on one of my runs, but people I pass will often comment on the weather or how adorable Boots is (no argument there).

#7 – I like to make progress. Running is something that is very easily measured. You can measure how far you go, how fast you go, and calculate averages. My primary motivator in this race was actually to beat last year’s time and I was thrilled when I shaved 9 seconds off of last year’s time, because last year I had actually been training for the race and this year I really hadn’t (apart from a few sporadic 2-mile runs). Progress feels fantastic.

So, it’s pretty clear that the pros far outnumber the cons here. I don’t believe running is the magical exercise that will keep me in shape, but it certainly has been helpful for me. Though I don’t really find many of the exercise quotes all that motivating (“pain is weakness leaving the body” or “sweat is fat crying” just don’t do anything for me), I do think that when your goal is change, whether it be weight loss or muscle tone, there is a certain degree of uncomfortableness that comes with it. It’s about pushing through your body’s normal activities and taking it to the next level.

And that’s exactly what running does for me.

So, I will still fight myself to get out there and hit the pavement. I will intentionally choose step after step, despite aching feet and sore knees. I will continue my quest to find some sort of running entertainment to help distract me.

And I will just keep running.